She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
third nipple confirmed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
