I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
