i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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