Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
