Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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