your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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