i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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