if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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