only if we run a train.
done.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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