she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
