Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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