I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
