I want to make a zoo with you.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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