My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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