I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
