my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
we're so committed to being not committed
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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