Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Of course I have a pirate flag
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
