the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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