One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize