Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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