Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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