So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
