i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize