She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
