Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
