So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
