If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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