Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
