If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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