ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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