Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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