she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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