I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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