I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
