I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Text me some of your sweat
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
