Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize