Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
