did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
