I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
