i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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