so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
