it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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