me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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