It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
