she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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