Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
