This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize