They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
