In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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