this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We need a shit load of segways right now
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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