Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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