I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize