I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
