idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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