in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
