Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
