it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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