11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
