the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Vodka?
Forever.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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