you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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