I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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