it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
