Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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