Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
