dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
