I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
