I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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