she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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